The me who is not me
by Guy-U-Anonymous
Summary: I am Alfred F Jones. I'm a regular guy with a regular life-except I'm not. Normality is impossible for me. Why? Well how can you be normal when as the first born of the family you're supposed to be an Alpha yet...I'm not. Fate decided that life had to be miserable for me the moment of my birth by letting me present as an Omega. [REVISED]
1. Chapter 1: Sadness behind a smile

[A/N] This is the revised version. I decided that this fic needed some improvement. Hope you enjoy! Don t worry about updates. I'll update once every week unless something comes up, most likely on Sunday. Hopefully i finish this before summer ends else I'll have to postpone till next break

Characters:

America Alfred

Canada Matthew

Prussia Gilbert

Italy Feliciano [Feli]

Germany Ludwig/ Nate [Luddy]

Russia Ivan

England Arthur

France Francis

[Edit;4/25/17] So I've stated that I'll censor all cuss words and I'll remove graphic scenes. If you want to read it full here:

archive of our own works/10634781/chapters/23527347 I'm not sure if links are allowed to be given but yeah here you go. Just delete the spaces

Also nothing here is too graphic so nothing was removed except I censored all the cuss words

so here's a short explanation on the dialogues. Tip, just think De*dpool  
' _Italic_ ' - this is the omega side or AKA my sick humour.  
'normal' - this is just the regular thoughts  
' **Bold** '- This is the subconscious

* * *

.

Chapter 1: Sadness behind a smile

I am Alfred F. Jones. I'm a regular guy with a regular life- except I'm not. Normality is impossible for me. Why? Well how can you be normal when as the first born of the family you're supposed to be an Alpha yet... I'm not. Life had to f*ck me **hard** straight in the ass and decide that life had to be miserable for me the moment of my birth by letting me present as an Omega.

A Male Omega, hilarious isn't it? They're so rare.

Believe me, I was shocked myself. A guy with my build and personality is no omega but nope! Life had other plans.

Being an Omega sucks but being an Omega like "me" sucks even more. For one, I have the physique of a giant. I'm the kind of guy who is really tall and, not lean, but muscular like "buff". Secondly my attitude is no where near **"meek, gentle, cute, and fragile"**. Me being like this just makes shit worse because, guess what, each time someone sees me they ask me if I'm an Alpha and life be damned! The embarrassment of saying I'm not hurts my pride but the pain of seeing their reactions hurt more.

I'm a failure of an omega, I'm a failure of a son, and I'm a failure of a person.

My god, whoever my mate/lover is will probably be so disappointed.

So I made it a fact not to date anyone.

My parents still love me but I can see the look of embarrassment on their faces each time they present me to their friends. I think my parents, being as religious as they are, had trouble accepting that their son is gonna be a f*ggot someday.

Going to church and reading the bible feels the same as reading a list about everything wrong with me. I merely living is already a mortal sin. Being male, and all that Male for Female only sh*t.

After giving birth to me, my mother fell really ill and after giving birth to Matthew, she died.

My family does not have a single Alpha. Both Matt and I are Omegas and my father is a beta which just makes the situation worse. As stated by law, every family housing Omega must have an Alpha guide. So far we're not yet arrested since Dad is a high standing official.

Too bad he's not home, and by "not home" I mean he doesn't live with us.

I coped with all this shit the past years. Now I'm 17 turning 18, in other words I'll be considered "Mature Omega" by the government. Another meaning for this is that, for a lack of better term, _"f*cking heat is coming to hit ya like a drunk driver road raging"._

I sigh in depression, lying down on my bed.

"Can my life get _any_ worse than this?!" I screamed through my pillow, deciding to never rise again only to have my alarm clock start ringing. I groan in frustration.

I stood up from bed and prepared myself for school.

"Morning, Alfred!" Matt cheerfully greeted me as I exited my room. I just blankly stared at him and waved my hand lamely in response.

Matt is your typical Omega, unlike me, he wasn't a defect - oh wait, being a male omega is already a defect, but on the plus side, he's cute with those big indigo eyes and soft wavy light blonde hair. Hell, at first you'd think he's a girl with the way he's carrying that fucking bear around. Underneath all that though he's as tall as me and has the same face as me, we're like twins, so it always leaves me wondering why. Why does he not feel what I feel? Doesn't he feel the dejection? He always seems to be happy and everybody questioned his secondary gender.

He smiled back at me and went downstairs to eat. I meekly followed behind.

* * *

After eating I went back to my room to get the suppressants. It's not heat suppressants, they're scent suppressants. I don't want people thinking I'm an omega in my new school. Yes, I'm moving to a new school and this time I'm gonna try to not make my life suck.

'This time I'm gonna be happy.'

I tried to smile positively at myself in the mirror.

 _'It's not working assh*le, you're just waiting for the mirror to break aren't you? Waiting for 7 years of bad luck? Don't worry you already have it! But more!'_

Yep, definitely **happy**.

* * *

I arrived at school pretty late. Gotta put up a bad boy image, shouldn't I?

 _'Bad boy image? All I see is some p*ssy dipsh*t wearing a fucking blanket to cover it's self. And let's be real you were late cuz you had to sh*t yourself in the bathroom first worrying over your so called "reputation" '_

This is one of the reasons I was transferred: Because of "rude behavior and disrespect" towards the Alphas, which include my teachers.

But instead of getting in scott- free, I met up with a cute blond Omega with bushy brows waiting for me at the entrance of the school. Wow another Male Omega.

' _Don't feel so happy yet, Dipshi*. Think you can find f*ck buddies to help ya? Look at him! He ain't a defect like you!'_

"Alfred F. Jones?" he questioned me, glaring daggers.

"Uh yeah?" If it was possible to look cuter then it would look like his face right now.

"Well what are you waiting for, you git! Get inside I've been waiting for hours and you're late for class!"

"Well now is that how ya talk to the new student? Aren't British supposed to be gentlemen?" Seeing his reaction, I smugly smile.

"Ugh! This is what I hate about you Alphas! Always being so cocky around omegas."

'An Alpha huh? This is new maybe I should keep this up.'

 _'or maybe you should omega the f*ck up and be honest for a change'_

I hum in response.

"Well if you, omegas, weren't giving such cute reactions we, Alphas, wouldn't do this." My smile widened when he blushed even more.

"Ugh whatever, you wanker, just get inside."

I complied and silently trailed behind him. I wasn't really listening to his so called "tour". I just really enjoyed looking at his face.

My eyes looked downcast at the thought. This is another one of my defects as an omega: I lust for other omegas for I don't know what reason, I just do. Even my instincts know that I should be an Alpha. But sometimes, somewhere deep inside my stubborn heart, I would yearn for the feeling of being dominated.

He stopped walking and looked at me.

"Is something the matter, Mr. Jones?"

"Alfred is fine. Anyways I'm just bored with all your blabbering can I get to class now?" He looked at me cutely again, in my point of view, I guess.

" **Shut up!** Here's your classroom number and class schedule! Good luck finding the classroom on your own." He threw a piece of paper at me.

'Wow such a feisty thing.'

I went looking for my classroom, though finding it was hard.

I was contemplating on what impression I should do whilst walking. A hidden more primal part of me wants to look down, blush shyly and bare my neck since that's what I really want to do...but I can't. When I do it, I look ugly. I look uncute, and well, just plain disgusting

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

 _ **First day of** **Middle School**_

 _"Um...Hi ! I'm Alfred…F Jones... P-please to meet you all! " I stuttered out ._

 _E yes were glued to the floor while I played with my fingers. My body shifting from side to side anxiously._

 _Omegas are naturally cute right? I hope this is a good way to start. Everybody likes a cute blushing omega!_

 _I felt really giddy._

 _Though the news of me being omega kinda suck, it also kinda means that I'll be pretty and cute right?_

 _I know I'm gay. Even though my parents don't know it, I already have my suspicions._

 _Wow I'm so nervous. How about if I attract one of the strongest Alpha!?_

 _I blushed more at the thought . I'm so young yet I already have hopes to have an admirer ._

 _I mentally squealed in excitement._

 _When I did look up, I wished I didn't since everyone in class w as giving me that confused look , their heads tilted in wonder._

 _'They don't know, they don't get it'. I chanted in horro r, realization dawning on my face._

 _'They don't know I'm an Omega.'_

 _"HAHAHAHAH! Good one Bro!" said one Alpha and all the other Alphas laughed while the Omegas were greatly offended and the Betas just laughed along._

 _"Ah?" They slowly stopped laughing when my scent started to fill the tiny classroom ._

 _The scent of an omega in distress._

 _"Eh? What !? You're a ctually Omega?! Wow you're tall as f*ck man! Taller than me!" One guy pointed out._

 _" Woah there, holy f*ck! You're an Omega?! Damn ! You must be the uglies- ugh! "An albino Alpha almost said before the brunette omega at his side elbowed him o n the stomach ._

 _But I knew what he was about to say._

 _Tears started to swell around my eyes and I fought to hold them back ._

 _Wow I must be such an idiot ._

 _To think I actually hoped . What was I thinking?_

 _"Ahem! Class quiet down! Alfred sit at the back next to Gilbert." She instructed while pointing at the albino boy that called me ugly_

 _ **'Ugly.'**_

 _I thought he was actually right as I remembered how long I stared at my closet ._

 _How long I tried to fix my hair and pick out my clothes ._

 _One outfit after another._

 _Brushing here, brushing there. My scalp started to hurt._

 _Only for it all to go to waste as I look at the mirror._

 _ **'I'm ugly.'**_

 ** _Flashback end_**

* * *

By the time I snapped out of my daze, I was outside the classroom, my fingers trembling in fear.

'Stop it, Al. Relax!'

I breathed in and opened the door.

The teacher stopped and looked at me, eyeing me intensely.

"Aah~ Mr. Jones finally decided to present himself." The teacher paused, clearing her throat. "Class this will be our new student, Mr. Alfred F Jones. I want all of you to give him a warm welcome."

I flashed my ever bright smile, canines and all.

"Hey guys! As you've all heard I'm Alfred just Alfred not Mr. Jones! I'm not my father. OK so nice to meet you all and please! Don't mind being comfy with me I really don't mind some close contact~!" I spoke with a boom. Loud and proud baby. I also gave a bit of a wink at the Omegas.

Some of the Alpha's raised their head, acknowledging me as a threat, as I flirted with the betas and omegas in the classroom.

'They think I'm a threat!' I cheered.

 _'Uh..No, no your definitely not a threat. A small punt to the side probably, but threat? Nu-uh.'_

The omegas just blushed intensely, the others looking away while the others just simply laughed it off.

"OK then, Mr. Jones, take your seat." I took my seat at the middle. Not too near not too far. Not very dominating and not too submissive, just simply normal.

I was unlucky to be seated next to an Alpha and not an omega or at least even a beta.

 _'Don't lie to yourself. You know you want one'_

'Great, he might notice something off with my scent.'

"Hey." He smirked at me and held out his hand.

I'm shocked that he talked to me first.

"..Uh hi man…" I was utterly confused but I took his hand and shook it.

He gripped my hand tightly and suddenly leaned down, his breath warm against my ear.

"I know what you are, **_omega_**." My eyes widened and I looked at him mouthing 'how', completely and utterly stupefied. I was speechless.

"Remember me as Gilbert?" All color drained from my face as that name left his lips.

He's the guy from middle school! Specifically, the one who caused my life to be miserable.

"But I thought you were back in Germany!" I protested, trying to find any reason to prove him wrong, that all of this was just an elaborate prank.

"Heh well looks like I'm back! You haven't changed at all, ugly fatso…" He trailed off examining my body up and down, his eyes giving a glint of something I've never seen before.

I blinked not knowing, whether to make a run and change school or stay put.

 _'Stay put , b*tch. I see free d*ck_ '

I decided to just stiffly look at the front and try to listen when a strong stench reached my nose.

I can smell it... The smell of arousal from him.

Suddenly everything became so hot. I paled and my hands sweated. I swallowed dryly.

Though this made me happy that someone is aroused by me, the thought of it being him scares me enough for me not to be aroused.

"Well now what's this!? Your days away from your heat!" He chuckled lowly.

'He can smell me!?'

 _'Of course he can smell you, you dumb sh*t! Hello~? Pheromones?'_

"This is gonna be one hell of an awesome school year! Ain't that right, Omega?" Pronouncing Omega in such a sensual and husky way, dropping his voice one octave lower, that it sent shivers of an unknown spark right through my entire body.

Gritting my teeth as a moan of pleasure to threatens to escape.

I can feel his hand slowly hover over my shoulder, tracing lightly along before clasping it softly.

He touched my shoulder in such a gentle manner it's frightening but what's more frightening is this feeling in me.

This deep and primal feeling... Somewhere in me, somewhere deep in me...

I can feel it. My omega side...

.

.

.

.

.

.

 **Yearning for an Alpha**

[A/N]: See you next week! Hope you enjoy the revised ver. Also the please vote again on which pairing I should do. Last time you guys chose USUK. I'm giving it another chance, let's see if USUK wins again


	2. Chapter 2: One bite, One pound

[A/N]:So like if you read the original. The ending is totally different since I got a change of heart. BTW Thankies to my beautiful and ever loving waifu for giving me tips on punctuation. You know who u are my love~! Anyways big thanks to those who dropped by some kudos! I love you guys! And please if you're gonna comment or critique, make it hurt like a bitch

Warning! Almost Rape. Mentions of Anorexia and slight self harm. Lots of cussing

(4/25/2017): : Uh so I'll just go n remove graphic scenes guys. Sorry for not doing it earlier. Last time I was here there was no MA rules rating yet. I'll do that to my other story too or I'll just delete it. It's cr*ppy anyways and uh i'll censor the cuss words just cuz i can n im scared of being kicked out even tho it's not in the guidlines XD im paranoid

Also here's the full ver: archive of our /works/10634781/chapters/23719329 -just delete the spaces

so here's a short explanation on the dialogues. Tip, just think De*dpool  
' _Italic_ ' - this is the omega side or AKA my sick humour.  
'nordmal' - this is just the regular thoughts  
' **Bold** '- This is the subconscious

* * *

My eyes stayed glued to the teacher in front of me for the rest of the class, refusing to move at the fear of eye contact with the Alpha next to me.

'Please, please let this end already.' I chanted it like a mantra.

The smell of arousal was getting stronger. Does no one smell this?

'I have to move away.' Panicked, I tried to scoot my seat.

One of the Alphas at my back began to profusely sniff the air, suspicious. "Nghh wah?"

'Oh no, I'm starting to release my scent!' The panic and distress is starting to affect the suppressants.

I tried my best to calm myself down. I was taking deep breaths, slowly. In. out. In. ou-

 _'How can I calm down!? The fucking guy beside me has a hard on!'_

 _RIIIIIIINNGGGGG!_

'Thank god! The bell finally rang!' I cheered, relieved.

I took my bag and darted out the classroom like I was Fl*sh being chased by De*dpool, ignoring the calls my teacher gave me.

Panting slightly, I made a quick turn to the bathroom. I finally stopped inside. I inhaled, then exhaled.

"I'm safe…"I murmured to myself in reassurance even though I know I'll sound like some crazy hobo man talking to himself.

"Umm excuse me, Mister? But this bathroom is for Omegas only." A sweet and cheery voice chirped in with a hint of foreign accent.

I turned my head towards the voice to see a cute looking Omega.

'Why so many male Omegas? I thought we were supposed to be rare?'

' _Maybe you're just high again. Check your pills'._

This one I guess, would be a sorry excuse for a guy though. _So are all the other male omegas I've seen so far except, of course, yours truly._

Soft almond brown hair with a floating curl and the most beautiful set of caramel colored eyes I've ever seen. Small, frail, and obviously slender with the sweetest smile you'll ever see.

A picture perfect Omega.

"Oh… heh sorry, I'll go now." I turned around to leave but stopped when he continued.

"It's okay, I'm Feli by the way! You must be the new student!" He eagerly held his hand out.

'Eh? Didn't he just tell me to leave? Well not directly but I didn't guess he'd want a conversation. Weird Omega.'

"Ah yeh… I'm Alfred, Alfred F. Jones" I gave a lopsided grin and shook his hand.

"Well Alfred best be going now! Don't wanna miss lunch time, right? The food will run out so come on!"

"Actually I-" He pulled my hand.

Did I say frail? Please kindly change to _fucking Superman_.

I was practically dragged towards the cafeteria, one of the most horrible place in my childhood.

'Here comes another roller coaster ride.'

I gulped as another wave of terrifying flashbacks hit me.

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

 _RIIINNNGGG!_

 _'Lunch time!' I cheered happily. 'I'm so excited!'_

 _Making a move to get out of my arm chair, struggling a bit with my little belly bump, and "pop!" I was out._

 _I seriously don't like my chair but…it would be so embarrassing to ask for a bigger chair_

 _'Well at least I have my super delicious, super good, lunch with me! Made with love by my Nanny!'_

 _I was always awe-stricken each time I go to the cafeteria. Everybody just seemed to have their own group you know?_

 _Somewhere to **belong.**_

 _Unlike me though I don't know where I belong._

 _' **You don't belong'**_

 _I took little steps, tip toeing steps towards my destination, not wanting to bother anyone with my presence, going over to a table separate from the rest._

 _This is my table. The "lonely table" as they call it. It's kinda looks worn out and it hasn't been repainted yet. The nails are coming off but I still love my table._

 _I felt happy and sad about it. Happy because I get to eat this delicious lunch by myself and sad because I'm alone and really someone should do a paint job on it cuz I can totally see the "I love Freddy Kru*ger" written on the lower right corner which is so near my arm. Yuck._

 _I reached for my lunch box and once again the struggle is real, this time on trying to open my lunch box._

 _'Life is also a struggle though.'_

 _'Finally!' I removed the lid and basked at its delicious glory._

 _Picking up my utensils, I move to eat my first bite when suddenly a voice interrupted me._

 _"Hey, Fatso! Care to share there? Looks like you've got enough to feed the whole school!" The albino boy again._

 _' yes, and you look like you need to eat the whole school.'_

 _"Gilbert! Stop teasing the new kid!"_

 _"Well it's not my fault! He's just so teas-able!"_

 _"That's not even a word!"_

 _"It is now!"_

 _I watched the two of them bicker. A beautiful brunette was arguing with this Gilbert and I was mesmerized. She was simply magnificent! Her long, wavy, hazelnut locks swayed gently at her every movement and her shining, emerald eyes complimented her hair so well. Like earth and the forest; peaceful. Whilst Gilbert's appearance clashed with hers as he has white hair just like snow and red eyes like blood. He simply just represents blood on cold snow, his personality too is as cold and harsh as snow._

 _They looked like spring and winter. Total opposites._

 _She was beautiful and so was he… unlike me._

 _Yes, I admit I had quite a chub on me but does that really make me ugly?_

 _' **Yes, yes it makes you so ugly'** My sub consciousness answered for me._

 _"Hey Fatty, what are you starring for? Oh yuck! Don't tell me you have a crush on me? Yuuuuck disgusting faggot~!" He raised his hands up in a pushing motion and scrunched his face in disgust, letting his tongue out and saying 'bleh'. A perfect illustration of revulsion._

 _ **'Faggot.'**_

 _I closed my eyes then looked down and continued eating my food- at least I tried to. The food started to look very disgusting and the taste didn't taste so good anymore. More like sickening to be exact. Their voices started to sound like static to my ears and everything just became hazy._

 _I stood up and quickly went to the bathroom, ignoring the teases Gilbert continued to make. Opening the cubicle, I puked my heart out. I couldn't take it. Maybe this is when I started being anorexic._

 _' **Take another bite fatty and earn another pound.'**_

 _I cried silently. My stomach hurt immensely but I kept trying to puke._

 _'Get rid of it! Lose all of it! Get all this ugly fucking fat away! ' I gripped my stomach 'till in bled. More tears fell, the translucent liquid dancing with bloody red on the pure white, tiled floor._

 _It look so beautiful. I will also look beautiful_

 _I couldn't eat. I wouldn't._

 _ **Fat, Hideous, Ugly, Useless.**_

 _I'm so **fat.**_

 _I pick my pathetic self off the floor and looked at the mirror. My ugly fat body was heaving profusely, sweat disgustingly dripping from my matted locks, a line of grime and drool stuck at the corner of my mouth but my eyes- they shone brightly in determination. All my hatred and agony in one._

 _Clenching my bloodied hands and gritting my teeth 'till my gums hurt I looked up again in the mirror, fire and tears in my eyes. A beautiful yet deadly combination._

 _ **I'll show them. I'll show them** **all.**_

 _I went back to class with a smile as to not worry the teacher._

 _"Hi Alfred, how was lunch?" My teacher asked kindly._

 _"It was… great" I gave the brightest smile I could muster. "It was really great and wonderful."_

 _ **Flashback end**_

* * *

"Alfred?" I snapped back to reality at Feli's voice.

"Ah sorry Sweetheart, I was so enraptured by your beauty you see." I attempted to lie.

"Aw how sweet, but I'm not such a big fan of infidelity!" He smiled, completely unaffected by my words.

I look at the menu in distaste.

'They're all carbs! Don't these cafeteria ladies know proper diet?!'

Taking a glance at Feli, I cringed. He seems so excited to eat and I can't just leave the poor Omega alone. Look at that long line! Look at all those Alphas just waiting for a chance to devour him!

"Well are we getting in line or not? The pasta is about to run out!"

In the end, I decided to stay.

We stood in line as the rest of the students were when suddenly a deep voice reached my ears. It was so commanding, so authoritative that it sent shivers down my spine- pleasurable shivers to be exact.

"Feli? What took you so long?"

"Luddy!" Feli practically jumped at the man.

 _'Did this bitch just jump at that Alpha or am I imagining shit? I should check my pills again cuz I sure as hell know no Omega can do that. And is that humongous f*ckloid hugging back said shit?'_

F*ckloid looks at me.

"Who is this man?" He stared down at me, I mean literally the guy was freaking tall!

 _'You know you like tall.'_

'Shut the fuck up!'

I blinked and feigned the act of an Alpha once again. "Ah peace bro! I wasn't gonna steal your Omega."

He just gave me a raised eyebrow. "Why would you steal him?" He leaned down and took a long sniff. He crinkled his nose in disgust. "I don't know what you are. You smell of chemicals, but you are not a threat."

I looked at him, shocked. 'He might figure it out!'

I quickly tried to regain composure to stand my ground. With my chest puffed up and fangs bared, I give a smug smirk. "Sure bro, but don't think-" I suddenly felt pressure on my neck, effectively cutting off all of my snide and awesome remarks.

"Now I may have said you're not a threat but that doesn't mean you disrespect me! Know your place!" He shouted the last part, his fangs barred and eyes narrowed, and I quivered! Quivered I tell you! My knees buckled and I fell, the only thing supporting me is the hand that was wrapped tightly around my neck.

I was at his mercy.

And my Omega keened at the thought.

He gripped harder and a whimper tempted to get out. But I gritted my teeth, biting my tongue. I barred my fangs once again and growled the loudest I can. I need to stand ground or they'll think weakly of me.

He brought his face closer. His expression seemed motionless neither sad nor mad- but his eyes spoke volumes of anger.

Heat pooled in my stomach and fire burned in my lungs, the world was turning fuzzy and black dots evaded my vision. I willed myself to look at him dead in the eye, forcing myself, forcing my omega, not to back down.

He wasn't even looking at me though. Somewhere in the crowd, someone got his attention. Suddenly, his eyes brightened as if understanding dawned on him.

"Feli I'll see you later" It wasn't a goodbye, it was an order and with that he took me away, not caring about the other omega. It made my Omega preen in pride.

'Now is not the time for that!'

I was having a hard time breathing even when he loosened his hold. Still, my determination to escape did not falter. I profusely kicked and punched, each stronger than before.

Suddenly he stops. He brings his nose down near my scent gland but then he hesitated. His eyes flicker up to someone behind me in question but looks down at me again, unsure.

Slowly though, he places his nose closer and took a long whiff, eyes closed in concentration. The sensations it brought me was so freaking good I was about to moan, but I held it back through gritted teeth, again.

He opens his eyes and looks up again to that being behind me, stern and cold. " Bruder why is it you called me to bring him?"

He sounded pleased. Was it because of my smell?

 **'Of course not. Don't get your hopes up, Fatty.'** Once again, I found these thoughts poisoning me but I immediately shook them away. 'This is no place to degrade yourself, Alfred! Stop getting distracted and move!'

Then all of a sudden I froze and stop all movement. Another voice answers, a very familiar voice.

"Well Ludwig, I thought you would've guessed by that sniff you took just now."

Ludwig's eyes gave another glint. But the glint of his eyes didn't matter. The fact that, that voice is so so familiar, is more terrifying.

"Oh, Alfred, guess you've just met my younger brother, Ludwig." I slowly tried to look behind me and that one glance of silver hair explained everything.

"G-gilbert!" I choked out, half-moaning.

"Hahahah," He laughed his footsteps getting closer and closer. "hah." His warm breath was on my neck.

"Let him go, Lud. I'll handle it. Go back to your Feli... Unless..." Gilbert immediately notices Ludwig's hesitance to leave. "you want to join in?"

Ludwig visibly flinches and he lets go. He looks at me straight in the eye." I am curious to as why you would hide what you truly are."

I gave no answer.

"… Is that what you really want to do?" He leaned down, his voice husky as if trying to coax me to trust him.

I remained silent.

He gave a quick nod, disappointment evident. His blue eyes stared at me for a second as if telling me he won't force it, that I'm safe, then he was gone.

A voice brings me back to the problem at hand. "You know ten years has done a big change on you, Alfred." Gilbert stated.

Grinning, he traced his fingers along my collarbone and I moaned.

[Sorry This Scene Is Deleted. Rape scenes are Graphic scenes so I can't show it here. See full ver at the link above]

My consciousness returns like a slap on the face. "Huh?" I looked around me. There was Gilbert on the floor, unconscious, and there was- who?

He had sandy hair and a kind smile, a very good combination with his warm amethyst eyes. ' _But why is he wearing a scarf? It's freaking hot or maybe that's just me coming down form my high.'_

"Well, hello there! Are you ok? I'm Ivan, let's be friends, da?" He held out his hand, his eyes were kind and soft though I had a feeling I couldn't trust him.

' _Don't shake it-'_

I shook it still. He smiles and helps me up.

 _'You dipsh*t!'_

"Well then Alfred let's get back to class. Oh! And your secret is safe with me." An understanding smile on his lips. He hands me his trench coat.

' _Woah expensive sh*-Cr*p! He's my classmate!'_

Standing up, I notice our height difference. 'Almost the same height, huh.'

I was dusting my (remaining) clothes when I felt warmth surround me.

His arms were around my waist and he nuzzles his face on my hair. Relaxing to the touch, I let him lean down and trace my scent glad with his teeth. He didn't bite though. Just simply massaging it.

Sighing, I close my eyes and for the first time since today, took a deep long breath. I didn't know I was crying 'till I felt something wet run down my cheeks. I hiccuped and sobbed as everything that happened today finally dawned on me.

"I was so scared !" I hiccuped and cried. He grips me harder, cooing at me and murmuring sweet nothings as he caresses my matted hair. "I was almost b-bonded and r-raped I ...I don't know what could have happened! I was clouded with l-lust as if I actually w- wanted it!" My voice was broke pathetically. I held on to him as if my life depended on it, more tears streamed down my face.

"Sh~ It's alright now. Just close your eyes and rest. I'll take you to the infirmary." Slowly, I closed my eyes as the fatigue finally caught up to me.

The last thing I see is Ivan's kind and reassuring face.

' _Such a handsome face'_

'I want to see Arthur.' The Omega was the only person that made me smile today

'I miss his blabbering already. Today was harsh at least hopefully I'll bump into him later.'

' _If you bump that poor soul he will **die**. Do you look at yourself in the mirror? Cuz you don't seem to notice the size difference between you and skin and bones'_

.

.

.  
'I wonder why I don't smell anything.'

End

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[A/N]:

Edit: so u can read the scene in my ao3 account. . Sorry guys but better safe than sorry. I'll be censoring even cuss words n all graphic scenes will be removed. I'm a paranoid piece of sh*t so forgive me

*censorship cuz u dunno copryight might happen

Isn't Ivan just a cutie? I decided to make a twist in his persona. I think everyone just misjudges him. More love for Russia guys~! I love Gilbert but we all know he thinks with his head down there than the one above and isnt Ludwig such a potato? You already have Italy! lol

Once again, I love u ma waifuuuu~ 3 3 3 ! Thx so much u are my life~!

Up Next! Is England's POV, Italy's POV and a short revelation! Stay tuned!

I love comments but I love critiques more~!


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